joy, relief, pain

These 16 days with Frank have been the best ever. I have prayed and prayed that we would enjoy every moment and that it would be wonderful and Praise the Lord he answered my prayers.

You can not imagine the relief i got when i saw Frank getting off that plane. I felt whole again. Then seeing him with the girls that we were a family again was just the best feeling ever. Of course Daisy had to give a few hard first minutes. She wouldnt even look at him it was sort of funny but painful. But as soon as she saw Lily with her daddy she was fine. Lily was just sort of in shock at first, as was Daisy. But then there was a wave of relief on her face as she hugged him and cuddled with him, and Daisy followed her sister with that feeling.

So we were a family again. To me it felt like he never left. We just fell into place and Frank was pretty much the same except he was stronger. (physically and emotionally) He was more in tuned with me and the girls. I was just amazed at how he jumped right in and wanted to do and go. Not at all what i have heard from others. They said he will probably sleep the first day. Nope he didnt. Which i am glad cause the girls and i probably would have gone CraZy!

Then we went to the ocean for 3 days. Our first vacation together as a family. ( I dont count driving to Washington as vacation cause frank drives non stop so if you call staying in a car for 36 hours vacation that is your opinion lol) It was wonderful. Lily loves the ocean and the beach we were on was secluded(i dont think i spelled that right lol) the sand was sparkly and the water was beautiful and so was the weather. Praise the Lord.
Frank and Lily were out in the water a lot. Daisy would rather stay on the beach lol. We built sand castles, we took a morning walk when the tide was out and saw tons of starfish and sea urchins and crabs and snails. It was wonderful. The last day there we went to Haystack Rock. It was perfect. The tide was out and we saw even more starfish then you could imagine. It was cold that morning but so beautiful with the clouds and the sun. I wish we could of stayed longer. But it felt good that we did this all by ourselves and we were definately a family again.

Frank's adjustment was a little harder which is totally understandable. He is used to living with all guys, having to wear the same thing everyday, haveing to be a boss and leaving all that responsibility would be hard. He didnt seem to be having a hard time adjusting but when we talked about it he said yeah. Wearing regular cloths felt wierd and just being around all us girls did too lol. But looking at us, it would seem we havent been apart. I never got the impression from him that he felt wierd or anything. If anything the bond that i have with him now is stronger. We are a stronger couple and a stronger family. He is definately a stronger husband, father and man. I can honestly say that this Iraq tour is doing our family good. Seems wierd i know but we are so much stronger.

He left this morning. I had to wake up at 330 am to get myself and the girls ready to leave by 430am. I miss him so much. It was painful to see him go but at least this time we could see the plane leave. It was so wonderful having him home. It was perfect. You can't say perfect about to many things but for me this vacation was perfect. It didnt seem to go to fastand not to slow and we did so many things and we were together all the time. We only fought once lol. It is so painful to say good bye. Tigerlily did well. She is a strong girl. She cried of course but not like me. Those girls are so much tougher then me and they make me stronger by their strength. Daisy didnt cry but she will display her pain in other ways as will Lily and me. They both know that Daddy is going to Iraq. I made sure that we talked about it before it had to happen. He is flying back to be with his Army family now. I know he is relieved to get back. That is his responsibility out there, as the girls are mine right now. In about 5 months we can resume responsibilty of our family together.

I also have to say how great our families have been giving us the space to be a family by our selves. My mom and dad just stayed back and let us be. It felt like we were in our own house (sort of lol). I feel so blessed to be where we are and to have the support that we do from both our families.

The Lord has had His hand in this the whole time. This vacation has just reaffirmed that so much by making it so fullfilling. Praise the Lord!
(click on tigerlily and daisy to see more pics and stories)